Title Pending
by YaoiPhox
Summary: This is a Prequel to Lasting Partners- a remake. Nothing smutty as Lasting Partners. AARON'S GRAVEYARD!  scrapped
1. Chapter 1

Itachi stretched gloriously, approaching Headquarters from his solo mission. He pushed open the door and headed for the meeting room. He was greeted by a sparring match between Sasori and Kisame. He rolled his eyes and sat on a rock to watch.

"C'mon, that was weak, puppet-boy!" Kisame jeered as Sasori landed a punch, nearly knocking him aside.

Sasori didn't respond verbally instead throwing a kick to his torso. His stomach cable revealed itself and wrapped around his ankle. Kisame was brought down and the puppet pressed a foot on his chest in triumph.

"Enough, all of you are wasting time." Leader appeared, Rinnegan meeting Sharingon.

"What's this mission. 'bout?" the shark asked, rolling out from under the redhead's foot and jumping to his feet.

"Well, with Orochimaru being scared off by your partner,Sasori is left with none. I found a possible candidate."

"I'd prefer being paired with Zetsu then go through a new partner." Sasori replied in his usual bored tone.

"Zetsu has his own type of assignments and besides, this shinobi has something in common with you." Leader replied, just as calm, "You will head for Iwagakure, look for explosions. The newbie goes by the name Deidara- a rogue ninja from Iwagakure. A terrorist working for whomever may hire, another prodigy."

"We're to help persuade him then, should he refuse?" Kisame questioning, looking to his partner.

"That, and to ensure nothing goes wrong." He answered, "You are to leave immediately- head for the important-looking buildings and wait for explosions."

Once the leader vanished, the three conjoined at the front door. Sasori crawled into his Hiruko, knowing that it would be easiest to convince him by intimidation. Itachi took the lead, Kisame at his side while he trailed behind. They trudged on, passing a number of settlements. After the sun set they camped out in a clearing, sitting around a fire lit by Itachi.

"So, Sasori, you excited to meet your new partner?" Kisame joked, sipping some instant ramen in a cup.

"Enthused." Sasori drawled, eying his own soup with Itachi.

They finished their small dinner soon after. Sasori volunteered to take first watch, standing and shuffling a little ways away. Itachi walked over to lie besides his partner, nuzzling him briefly once thinking Sasori wasn't looking. Upon seeing this, Sasori's thoughts began to wander, '_Another disadvantage at having a partner._', he though dryly, '_Orochimaru got far too close on many occasions. It doesn't help that I let him...'_ He gave a small shudder at the memory.

_~Flashback~_

I was minding my own business while out on a mission. I combed through the Third's hair, oblivious to the encroaching chakra of my strange partner. I flinched at the feel of something wet and warm caressing my neck. I jumped up, careful to gently set down the Kazekage before whipping around to confront the snake.

"Now what do you want? And how many times have I told you to keep yer tongue to yourself?" I snapped.

The serpent merely grinned mischievously as he moved closer. I froze when he spoke.

"Quite a bit, you have told me. As for the first question- I want you, I want your body."

He licked his lips, moving a hand to caress my face. I pulled back, only to bump into the bed and plop down on it as his lips hovered near mine. I shut my eyes, turning my head. He laughed sadistically.

"Your puppet body is fascinating. I simply _must_ have it." His gold eyes glinted.

Before I knew it, I was on my back, being forced down by a pale hand. I had no idea what to say other than...

"RAPE!"

Yes, I remember someone having told me what rape was. I could not remember her face, but I'm sure she had blonde hair. The snake laughed, breaking my thoughts.

"Surprise."

My eyes widened as his hand trailed to my waist. '_Shit!_' I squirmed more, trying to use my chakra strings and bring the Third to me. He noticed and pinned my hand, entwining our fingers so mien couldn't move. Back then, I didn't have the cable nor the blades on my back- I never found reason to build them until after.

"Get the fuck off of me!" I snarled, slightly panicked as he tugged at my pants, his tongue making its way down.

I don't know why I felt so guilty- I wanted contact after so long without it. Yet I didn't want it from him. If not from him, then who? Why did I not let Orochimaru have his way and take it as nothing more than a way of release from the buildup of sexual tension? Thoughts of that sort ran through my head as my partner, frowning, pulled away.

"Tch... Fine, but don't think I'll forget this, you hear? Nobody rejects Orochimaru! Not Jiraiya, not Itachi, and especially not you, Sasori." He hissed and I suddenly became enraged.

"Well I just fucking did! Now get out of my damned sight, bastard." I sounded like someone I knew although I didn't wonder who. (_1_)

~_Flashback End_~

Sasori sighed, glancing briefly towards the two curled around the other. Long black hair was overlaying blue and pale skin. The sun began to rise and Sasori made his way back.

"Up you get, homos- we gotta hurry before my partner moves on. You know I hate to keep others waiting and don't keep me waiting." Sasori drawled.

He got the satisfaction of watching them spring apart, blushing terribly for two S-Rank criminals. Sasori rolled his eyes and started to their destination. The others followed silently, looking down and away from each other.

–

They continued on until reaching the village. They looked around for an important building and waited behind closed doors. They were anxious to meet the new member. It wasn't long before an explosion was heard and a figure appeared through opened doors before them. Sasori buried a twinge of recognition at the sight of the blonde hair and blue-grey eyes.

"Eh? Who the fuck are you, hmm?" the ninja shouted.

"So you are a guy." Kisame said out of nowhere.

"Either that or a girl with a flat chest and deep voice." Itachi added coolly.

"Of course I'm a guy, un! Now who are you?" He snapped.

"We are the Akatsuki." Sasori answered.

"Akatsuki? Don't know and don't care! Now get lost! You're keeping me from my art appreciation time!" he shouted.

'_This brat is pretty rowdy... and art appreciation? Now I know why leader chose him._' Sasori though, still glaring quizzically from within Hiruko. "I have to take this brat on as my partner...? Sure, he's full of energy, but he seems like the early death type." Hiruko looked at Itachi and Kisame, Sasori still looking at Deidara.

"It's our leader's orders... his talent will be very useful..." Itachi answered.

"What do you know about my talent? Who are you anyway...?!" The kid shouted.

'_Didn't we just answer that? So noisy..._' Sasori thought, cleaning his throbbing ear.

"We know you're aiding the anti-government factions of neighboring nations with terrorist bombings... you're a rogue ninja... but what is your purpose...?" Kisame asked, trying not to grin, but failing slightly.

"Purpose? Don't need one. I'm just taking commissions to make explosions." He paused briefly, a smirk appearing, "Using my art, hmm?!"

'_Alright, I'll bite,_' Sasori thought, "Your art?"

"Like this!" He showed us the hand he had buried in the pouch at his side to reveal an abstract sculture resembling a spider, "Well? Such clean, refined lines and a form that pursues two-dimensional deformé!" His excited face looked a bit insane, admiring his art held in his hand. He looked up and continued his lecturing rant, "Hmmm?! This is art! But my art goes far beyond this as well! My pieces are versatile! While they hold shape, they are merely objects, hmmm?!"

'_What is this brat talking about? That sculpture is amazing- how can he call it a mere object._' Sasori thought, annoyed with the kid's voice.

"But this thing can EXPLODE!" He really was insane, "And when it does, it makes its existence more sublime and finally comes fully into its own!"

Itachi and Kisame both held a look that plainly said, "What the fuck?" Hiruko's stayed the same, being a puppet. While Sasori's head was throbbing, he gazed at the kid in fascination. It grew as the self-proclaimed "artist" continued, raising his other free hand.

"I feel that true art lives only in that brief flash of sublimation! Hmmm?!" The Akatsuki members noticed a mouth on the hand open, its tongue lolling out as if to mock them, "**True art is an EXPLOSION!!**"

"...Disgusting..." -Sasori, '_True art is eternal, brat._'

"Is he done...?" -Kisame

"Who knows..." Itachi replied, emotionless, stepping towards the terrorist, "Doesn't matter, though... I'll convince him."

Sasori smirked at Deidara's expression. He seemed curious about what the Uchiha was going to do. Sharingan flickered to life with Itachi's intimidating glare. Sasori and Kisame stood by, mused by the fight the blonde had lost before it begun. He was cocky and rushed in while Itachi kept his usual calm. Sasori held back a laugh when the brat realized his end.

"That was close... you were about to blow yourself up." Kisame snickered.

"I told you he would die an early death..." Sasori trailed, glancing at him from within as he questioned when and Kisame greeted him with an answer.

The sun shone through the new hole made in the wall. He followed the blue-gray eyes to see Itachi standing there in all his glory. Kisame joined the boy in utter awe. Sasori felt a prick of sudden... jealousy...? '_How can he admire someone that made a fool of him?_' the marionette thought. Deidara was indeed admiring the Uchiha, stricken by his appearance. It had been so long ago... '_Surely I have been forgotten,_' he thought briefly and then shook his head, '_No, I promised Danna I wouldn't fool around... This man has made a mockery of me and my art. His jutsu is shit._' He scowled and Sasori sighed silently at the new expression of utter loathing.

"You lose." Itachi drawled.

"Very well... I will keep my part of the bargain." Deidara spoke reluctantly, hanging his head in miserable defeat.

"Then come along, those explosions will have notified the villagers." Sasori grumbled.

They all left quickly. Deidara, pouting, trailed at the end of the group. They stopped a good distance from the village. Despite the brief moment of sunshine, the rainclouds from earlier returned. Itachi looked up and then around their surroundings. There was a small settlement nearby and he started for it.

"It's going to rain, we should find an inn to stay at." He explained to the others whom gave a nod and followed.

They found an inn at a decent price and asked for a room with two beds. Sasori glared with Deidara on their way to the room.

"What gives, Itachi? There's four of us."

"Can you not count, hm?" Deidara added to Sasori's comment.

"You know perfectly well what gives." Itachi replied calmly, opening the door to their room, "Kisame and I will share a bed and you two can figure who will get the bed. Most likely Deidara whilst you keep watch."

"That and we don't have enough money for two rooms. We'll be needing to talk to Leader about a purse-holder." Kisame grinned, propping his blade against a wall by the first bed.

"I think I might know someone, yeah..." Deidara seemed distracted, looking down at his hands, tracing some unseen lines. "So... what am I doing here anyways, hmm?" He looked up again, glaring.

"You are my new partner in a criminal organization known as the Akatsuki." Sasori sighed.

"I swear I've heard that name somewhere before..." Deidara frowned.

"Didn't you say you never heard of them-er, us?" Kisame laughed.

"Eh, I got a concussion a few years ago so it's possible that I might've heard it before then, un." Deidara shrugged.

"A concussion from what? One of your so-called works of art?" Sasori joked.

Deidara blushed, pouting angrily.

"What do you mean so-called, hmm? The resulting explosion was one of my best pieces, un!" He snapped defensively.

"How can you call something so short-lived art? True art is eternal and the best kind." Sasori shrugged, shuffling off to the only window.

Itachi and Kisame stood off to the side by the first bed. They decided to stay out of the soon-to-be argument.

"Bullshit! Real art is fleeting, un!" Deidara snapped, leaping for the puppet.

It was only seconds that the blade of Hiruko's tail was at his neck, quivering. The only thing that had stopped him was a gut-wrenching feeling he would deeply regret killing the kid. He glowered dangerously and Deidara gulped, feeling sweat roll down his neck.

"You got quite a foul mouth there. Next time I hear it, I might just... slip." The blade withdrew in the blink of an eye and the other fell to his knees, shivering.

Kisame laughed, drawing his partner's attention. Itachi followed his gaze and let out a flit laugh. Deidara's eyes narrowed at the sound and he whipped around, defiance plain on his face. They continued the stare-down until Itachi activated his ocular jutsu. Deidara started and his gaze broke off quickly, receiving a smug grin from Itachi and a chuckle from Kisame. Sasori sighed, rolling his eyes to return to watching the outside for possible enemies.

"You all should sleep now- we leave first thing in the morning. I'm exhausted having gone without sleep." Sasori grumbled.

"Heh, I didn't think puppets need sleep." Kisame laughed.

"Puppet?!" Deidara exclaimed, jaw dropping.

"Way to go, Kisame..."

"Come now, not like your partner wouldn't have found out eventually." Itachi defended, shedding his cloak to lie besides Kisame, whom had slipped under the covers before taking off his own cloak.

"I've been told by a friend that, before my greatest creation, I used to be in love with one, hmm...?" Deidara laughed dryly with a scoff.

The other three looked at him as though he were insane. He flushed and looked down.

"Not like it's true- he's taken advantage of my memory loss a few times, un." Deidara explained, reaching up to take off his headband. Sasori couldn't help but ogle when he let his hair out of his low ponytail. Deidara held the band in his hands, gazing down at it with a queer expression. Sasori watched him reach for a single kunai from the smaller section of the pouch holding his clay. He scratched the all-too-familiar scratch through the twin rocks engraved in the metal.

He kicked off his flip-flops and peeled back the covers to the second bed. He crawled in, placing his headband and ponytail band on the bedside table. He grabbed the extra pillow and wrapped his arms and legs around it.

"G'night, Puppet... g'night... Sasori..." He mumbled, dozing off soon after.

"Good night, brat..."  


* * *

(1) Hidan


	2. Chapter 2

Early in the morning, Deidara awoke with a start from his nightmare. He looked around the rom spotting Hiruko abandoned in a corner and the bathroom occupied. He held his head in his hands, recalling what his nightmare had been. It hadn't started as a nightmare, it started with a redhead lying at his side, sleeping peacefully while Deidara had stroked his hair. Soon the room they had been in grew black and he could no longer see the redhead. He panicked and started to run around, calling a name. He forgot the name just as the dream had ended.

"I shouldn't be here... I should be out looking for him." Deidara whispered to his hands.

"Looking for who?"

Sasori had, in Deidara's moment of recollection, made it back into Hiruko unnoticed. Deidara flinched and looked up at Hiruko whom was close to the side of the bed as his bulky body was allowed.

"I-I'm not sure, un. Um... since we're partners... could you tell me your name, I haven't heard it yet."

Sasori closed his eyes, deep in thought. He recalled Deidara's mumblings from the night before. '_He had been calling out my name... but why? I should lie until I learn more of him and whatever dream he had dreamed._'

"My name is Hiruko."

"Oh... 'kay..." Deidara blinked thoughtfully before crawling out of bed.

He snatched up his hair pieces and headed for the bathroom. Sasori shook his head slowly and left his favored puppet. He approached Itachi and Kisame who were still deep in sleep. He carefully prodded them causing them to jolt up, tense and alert.

"Morning, homos, time to get up." Sasori didn't know why he always addressed the two as this. He was no better and never found himself to have time for women. He did recall one blonde though he couldn't remember the name or face. Even if it was a girl now that he had seen Deidara with similar hair.

"Jeez, next time speak before acting so we know it's you." Kisame whined, pulling on his cloak as soon as he was out of bed. Itachi sat up, his gaze traveling to Deidara's vacant bed. His brow rose as he returned the gaze to Sasori.

"Bathroom." He answered the unspoken question.

Itachi gave a nod before joining his partner and pulling on his cloak. Sasori envied the two- they've been so close since before he had joined the Akatsuki. He didn't even really recall the reason for his joining the organization. At the sound of water running and then being shut off Sasori started. He hurried back to his puppet, ignoring the questioning glances from his companions.

"Hey, Hiruko-danna, where are we headed exactly?" Deidara spoke, walking in just after Hiruko had sealed its master within.

"D-danna?" Sasori felt his face get hot.

"Hiruko?" Kisame and Itachi asked in unison, looking at Sasori then Deidara, then back at Sasori.

"We're headed for Amegakure..." Sasori answered slowly, ignoring the looks.

"Ugh... rain," Deidara huffed, flicking his bangs, "Not good on the hair."

"We don't all have to go to Amegakure..." Itachi said thoughtfully, silently agreeing with the blonde.

"They're is a meeting spot in a cave not to far from here." Kisame offered, opening the door for them.

"Alright, Sa-I mean... Hiruko... will go directly to Pain and report in. Kisame should accompany you. Deidara and I will stay in the meeting place and wait for you two to return." Itachi stopped in the middle of saying Sasori as said puppet shot him a withering glare.

"Ugh, great, hmm. Stuck with Itachi." Deidara grumbled. The others rolled their eyes.

–

Itachi and Deidara were now left in the cave alone, sitting on some rocks. Deidara sat fuming, glaring at the almighty Uchiha. The Uchiha was ignoring him, pulling out finger nail polish. After admiring the bottle briefly, he handed it to Deidara.

"What the hell?"

"Paint your nails. Unless you don't know how." Itachi explained, showing his own painted hand.

"Why the hell should I, hmm?"

"It's uniform."

"Fine... jerk."

Deidara sulked but did as he was told, expertly applying the polish. He had done a far better job than Itachi who ended up having Kisame do his nails for him. Itachi frowned a bit at this. Afterall... he had the Sharingan which should have aided him in getting it perfect.

"There, happy, hmm?!" Deidara snapped, tossing the bottle back to the raven.

"Umm... how'd you get it so..." Itachi trailed, immediately regaining his shortly lost composure.

Deidara shrugged, not wanting to discuss the matter. Itachi shrugged as well but stood when leader spoke to him. He fished in his pocket, searching for the ring Pain had given Sasori and Sasori to Itachi in turn. He tossed the ring to Deidara who caught it without thought between his hand's teeth.

"Right index finger." Itachi simply explained, approaching the center of the cavern, motioning for the blonde to do the same once he had slipped on the ring. "Follow my lead."

Deidara growled at being told what to do by his new enemy but obliged. He wove the hand signs and jumped considerably when five holographic figures. He immediately recognized Hiruko then Kisame but did not recognize the other three. One appeared to have some form of vegetation on his head, another had odd eyes. The last one looked a bit feminine.

"Ah, good. Kisame's fears weren't realized then. You both appear to be well and very much alive." The one with odd eyes spoke. "My name is Pain, the Leader. I am glad to see you joined."

"Keh, I'm not." Deidara scoffed, earning a glare from the leader.

"Well... anyways... Zetsu, Konan, this is our newest member, and our puppet's latest partner, Deidara."

The two greeted and very briefly introduced themselves.

"Kisame had brought it to my attention that we're having issues with our budgeting. Does anyone know of anyone good with money?"

"I know someone, yeah." Deidara piped.

"Heh, I'm sure he means someone strong and evil. **Not another pipsqueak. **Leader-sama, **may we please eat him?**" Zetsu grinned evilly.

"He is strong! He's a bounty hunter, un! He kills or captures people and turns them in to the highest bidder." Deidara snarled.

"Hmm..." Pain was lost in thought for a bit before giving a slight nod. "Very well... We shall test him."

The meeting was adjourned on that note. Deidara was once more left alone with the Uchiha.

"You were pretty quick to defend this guy. What is he to you, exactly?" Itachi asked to ease the uneasy silence.

"I already told you, hmm, he helped me to bring back my memories... or was trying to help. I've lost all contact with him as of late..." Deidara stopped, looking at his feet, sad.

"You miss him." No question.

"Yeah."

"You like him." Again, no question.

"...Yeah."

"Love?" A question.

"No." Deidara snarled, startling the other and slightly older teen.

–

The conversation wasn't brought up again and all was silent once more. Much more awkward than before. Deidara sighed after half an hour and began molding his clay. He was running low. All the more reason to reunite with his old friend. Kisame soon appeared in the cave, Sasori on his heels. Kisame headed for his partner, bending down briefly to give him a chaste kiss on the nose.

"Alright, Deidara, where is this bounty hunter?" Sasori grumbled.

"He doesn't know." Itachi answered.

"Then how on Earth are we to find him?" Sasori felt his eye twitch in annoyance.

"Does anyone know the bounties over their heads, hmm?" Deidara asked, glancing around.

They shook their heads and Deidara sighed. He opened his hand to reveal a bird of clay. He pulled out a scroll and jot something down, tying it to the bird's ankle before releasing it. They watched in silence as it fluttered a few feet then exploded. The others jumped and glared at the blonde.

"What the fuck was that for, brat?" Sasori hissed.

"I'm asking a friend if he may know his last location, yeah." Deidara rolled his eyes as though it were obvious.

"By blowing up the note..." Sasori really didn't understand this brat.

"It's the explosion that holds the note, hmm." Deidara kept his eyes trained on the spot the bird had exploded.

Soon a paper appeared from nowhere and Deidara stood, stepping back a few steps. He advised the others to do the same. They did so reluctantly just before the paper bomb exploded to reveal a waterfall in the brief explosion. Deidara smirked with a nod and headed for the exit.

"Looks like we're off to the Hidden Waterfall Village." he said, smug, "Hopefully, you all being S-Rank criminals and all, he'll be lured out of hiding..."

The others exchanged nervous glances before following. Although Deidara sounded confident, he worried. After all... over the years, he himself had acquired quite the bounty over his head. He wasn't sure what his old "friend" would so with this knowledge. After all... he _lived _for money and only that.

–

A heavily veiled, tan, and muscled man sat alone in his room at a cheap inn. He flipped through his personal Bingo Book and his unseen smile was wiped from his face as he gazed down at the name belonging to such a high price.

–

They had all arrived on the outskirts of the Waterfall Village's entrance, looking around for any possible presence. They agreed to split up and camp out separately in hopes to make their own presence less noticeable. They weren't yet ready to look for the bounty hunter yet. Sasori branched off from Kisame and Itachi with his partner, whom was now wearing the official Akatsuki cloak. Sasori couldn't help but ogle at how much slimmer he appeared upon donning the slightly larger cloak previously belonging to Orochimaru.

The duo arrived at a decent clearing and sat, well, Sasori, within Hiruko, on the ground. He released a weary sigh and looked to the blonde whom fumbled with the cloak's sleeves. He giggled in his head at the sight. The boy really was quite attractive.

"Brat, tell me, what are your friend's abilities? His behavior? Anything to help us to 'suade him?"

"Hmm. Well, he is pretty short-tempered and quick to kill if you push the wrong buttons. Other than that he is quiet and keeps a cool head. I can't remember what his abilities were, I have forgotten thanks to the concussion, hmm. As for persuasion... not that difficult. Just mention money and he's in, un." Deidara closed his eyes, flopping onto his back.

"Your explosion... exactly how did it... er... well..."

"How did I make it and become foolish enough to get caught in it?" Deidara's brow rose, guessing the question. Sasori gave a slight nod and Deidara sat up abruptly. "I'm not an idiot, Hiruko-danna. I would _never_ misjudge one of my art works. I didn't get caught in it by accident. It was failed suicide."

Sasori froze and he felt his heart stop. His eyes widened in shock. He did not understand why he suddenly felt enraged at the blonde and hadn't payed any attention to his shouted reply.

"WHAT!? WHY THE _FUCK _WOULD YOU TRY TO KILL YOURSELF?! Didn't you even stop to think about those you would've left behind?! Did you stop to think of how _I _would feel upon hearing of _your_ death!?" Sasori stood, uncharacteristically bonking his head on Hiruko's opening hatch.

Deidara sat, speechless. His blue eyes widened in sudden realization.

"S-SASORI!?"

The redhead froze, opening the puppet carefully to reveal himself. Deidara started, quivering with some unknown emotion.

"How did you know my name? Did Itachi tell you?"

"Wha? N-No! Don't tell me y-you've forgotten me, hmm?!" Deidara exclaimed, stepping closer to the puppet who in turn stepped back.

"I'm sorry... I don't quite understand...?"

"You... really have... forgotten..." Deidara swayed and Sasori took a step forward in case the blonde collapsed. However the blonde took a step back, his eyes watering. "All this time... wasted..."

"Deidara?" Sasori began to worry.

Deidara turned, taking off before Sasori could realize what had happened, he was following. He tried to follow the blonde's trail, worrying as it began to fade. It soon vanished completely and Sasori found himself inches from his two companions whom were too occupied to notice the presence.

"Wah!? S-Sasori!" Kisame gasped upon finally noticing the redhead whom was still staring at where Deidara's trail had ended.

Itachi and Kisame sprang apart, throwing on their clothes. They approached their fellow Akatsuki member, worried when they received no response from the puppet.

"Sasori, where's Deidara?" Kisame asked, placing his had on Sasori's shoulder.

"He's... gone..." Sasori blinked in disbelief at the events that had just occurred.

–

Deidara ran on, tears still flowing, he had, despite his distracted state, managed to cloak his chakra, erasing the trail. Memories came flooding back, tenfold. Memories of his awful childhood, the brothel, and, more importantly, a particular puppet master that had forgotten he had ever had anything with the blonde.

~_Flashback_~

I stretched, yawning loudly as my master from the brothel sat at the table of the bar with me, counting his beloved money. He shot me a quick glare with those entrancing red & green eyes. I giggled nervously in apology, avoiding his glare. My eyes skimmed the other lowlifes of the village. However I noticed one person in particular that night. He didn't seem to be like the others. I watched the thin redhead sit down at the bar, nervous as though uncomfortable with the grimy surroundings. I dared to prod my master whom had returned to counting but growled at the feel of a new distractions.

"Deidara, so help me, you distract me one more time I will see to it tha-"

I didn't listen to his threat, already looking longingly to the redhead. He chose that moment to respond to the feel of one's eyes burning into his back. Such lovely brown eyes. My friend followed my gaze upon noticing the lack of attention. He grunted.

"Huh, should've known. You're such a greedy little slut."

I looked to him, pleading.

"Alright, Dei, you can have him, just keep where I can find you easily." He caved with a sigh, sorting out his cash before securing it in one of his cloak's many pockets.

I gave a giddy, shrill squeal, wrapping my arms around his neck before slinking over to the object of my desire. He looked up when I sat besides him, I swear my heart skipped one too many beats. I was lost once more in those amazing eyes.

"Hi there, kid, what brings you to a place like this? Surely you're too young to be drinking."

"Heh, as if you were any older- besides, I'm much older than I look." He growled.

"Hm, wouldn't surprise me." I laughed, "So, how old are you? Don't be shy, I sleep with men of all ages, so long as you really aren't a kid."

"So you're a slut?" The redhead's tone was bored and I felt my eye twitch before he continued, "I am almost thirty, and you?"

"Eighteen." A lie, of course, that I have used many times before- not that it really mattered in a shinobi's world.

"You look a lot younger." He eyed me suspiciously. I was sure Master was watching me, holding back a laugh as my attempts to get in his pants failed.

"Well so do you!" I pouted.

"Now you're acting childish." He pointed out and I was surprised to hear him laugh. Even he was surprised. "Huh... I haven't laughed in a long time..."

"Hmm... is it because you've got something up your ass?"

"I beg your pardon?!" Sasori did a spit-take with the water he had ordered.

"If not, then I can fix that." I whispered against his ear.

I could feel the heat radiating from his body and smirked. My attempts have worked. I heard a fight in the back of the bar and grinned. Gotta love that man- Master had started a fight, a perfect distraction.

"Let's go to your place and talk."

And we did talk. Nothing more, nothing less. As the sun began to rise, I was feeling odd, I knew it to be love. He too was an artist. Not one that shared my views, but an artist none-the-less. We continued to bond and my master brought me to his place whenever I had a break. He didn't seem pleased with it at first, but as the days dragged on, his hearts softened. I had been so happy and he was happy for me... until that _bastard_ left. He left me alone and now I've found him.

~_Flashback End_~

Deidara had found Sasori, however the fool had been so wrapped up in his work with the Akatsuki he had completely forgotten his beloved blonde.

* * *

Gah, ooc much? No matter- I have the third chap; I plan on redoing it entirely - got too unplanned and out of hand.

As for the requests, I'm behind and without internet and my EOC exams aren't gonna help a bit. I have two personal requests and two requests from some of the lovely peeps that support me.

STILL NEED A TITLE FOR THIS THING- SUGGESTIONS WELCOME!


	3. Chapter 3

Sasori explained what had happened to the other two. They were slightly shocked at first. Once Sasori repeated everything Deidara had said, Itachi gave an understanding nod.

"Are you sure you've never seen him before?"

"Well," Sasori's face contorted in deep thought, "now that you mention it... I have been having this feeling ever since I saw him..."

"Go on..."

"Uh... shit... I think I just did the most-no, only- stupid thing in my life. Deidara..." Sasori trailed, blushing at memories of a blonde boy smiling happily, talking while he listened. He recalled a bar, the meeting, a man that claimed to own him- a Master of sorts. "That would explain him addressing me as Master." he voiced his thought, confusing the other two.

"So... you had a past with this kid?" Kisame asked, rubbing the back of his head.

"It was more than just a past, he was my past, present, and future... y'know?" Sasori's blush continued to burn.

"Woah, you mean Deidara's your Itachi? Er, Itachi's mine, but you know what I mean..." Kisame blushed now.

"Um, we should probably go looking for him then..." Itachi pointed in the direction the blonde had fled.

"Right."

–

Deidara slowed his pace, his feet were bleeding from wearing such poor shoes over such terrain. He stumbled through the forest, panting. He had almost forgotten why he had run. He stopped at the sound of a twig snapping. He whipped around, trying to locate the source. His hand instinctively reached for the pouch at his side, mouth open and poised.

"Who's there, hmm?"

There was no reply and Deidara started to relax. '_Maybe it was only an animal..._' he thought, continuing on, keeping his hand in his pouch. He began to mold the clay, just in case. Sure enough a shadow loomed over him. He spun around and tossed his clay bomb, "KATSU!"

The mass of dark red threads attached to a queer mask slammed against a tree, broken. Deidara cursed aloud, he was out of clay now and he saw another one fast-approaching. He ran past it, hoping to find Sasori in the others and get their assistance. He ignored the throbbing of his feet, the tearing of his cloak and the figures behind him. He only paid attention to the road ahead. He broke from the dense forest area and arrived back at the waterfall hiding a ninja settlement.

He paused for only a moment, but it was enough. Three creatures now surrounded him. The only way to run was into the water. So Deidara did what any cornered mouse would do. He ran to the water only to be stopped dead in his tracks by a heavily cloaked figure blocking his path. His eyes widened as a tan hand with black tattooed bands shot from the arm, attached to threads. It grabbed his neck, slamming him into a tree and then dragging his slightly limp body towards him.

"Deidara, I _told _you not to do anything _stupid_. Getting so much attention is something _very stupid_. Do you remember me?" The man hissed and Deidara let out a breathless gasp, trying to form words. "Answer me, Deidara-chan, or I'll finish you now." He loosened his grip barely enough to let the blonde speak.

"Y-Yes, K-Kakuzu-danna!" He gagged.

"That's my good little whore." Kakuzu exhaled, pulling down his mask with his free hand to place his lips against the smaller's.

Deidara gasped, moaning into the kiss. Kakuzu's rough hand moved from his neck after lowering him to the ground. It slid down to unbutton the cloak, The three creatures slunk over to Kakuzu's back. Deidara's hands grasped at his stitched back, pulling closer.

"You've been without contact for so long. You probably still don't remember Sasori."

Deidara froze, suddenly breaking free of Kakuzu's grasp. He was shaking and Kakuzu eyed him in wonder. Deidara looked down.

"Deidara... are you crying? Come to think of it... you were crying when I found you too. Tell me what happened." Kakuzu sighed, tilting the blonde's face up to wipe the tears.

"Y-you're being un-unusually nice... i-it's scary-y." He sobbed, "I-I remember Sasori... I-I found him."

"You did?" Kakuzu was practically purring and it worried Deidara further.

"He doesn't remember me." Deidara finished.

"Ah, in that case... stay here, I'll be right back." Kakuzu said, returning to his usual, emotionless state.

Deidara watched him leave, covering his face and back once more.

–

"Wait, the trail's reversed, he back-tracked." Itachi stopped in the middle of the dense forest.

Sasori and Kisame followed him back in the direction of the village. They were greeted in Sasori and Deidara's clearing by Kakuzu, looming over Hiruko as he waited. He held a book in his hand, reading a certain page. Once the three were close enough, he showed them the page. It revealed a picture of Deidara, a bold red 'X' over his handsome face.

"What did you do to him?" Sasori snarled, leaping forward.

"He had a bounty over his head, a big one at that, so I did what anyone would do. I killed him. It was pretty easy. Don't tell me you're friends with the kid?" Kakuzu drawled, holding up five strands of long, blonde hair.

"You seem familiar, who are you?" Sasori's eyes narrowed upon recognizing the locks of Deidara's hair. From what he could remember, Deidara was obsessed with his gorgeous hair.

"I am the bounty hunter; Deidara's friend."

"Some friend!" Kisame snapped.

"Heh, he was next in my Bingo Book and fetches quite a high price both on and off the black market despite how few years he has been famous." He flipped through the book and his eyes glinted with glee. "Looks like you're next, Sasori of the Red Sand. You're worth more than Deidara."

They had no time to react as the masks sprang from his back, each wrapping around the three Akatsuki. Kisame struggled, teeth nipping at the threads. Itachi remained perfectly still, Sharingan ablaze. Sasori glared defiantly, trying to find a loophole. His cable slipped from its compartment and slit the strings. He was free in minutes and working on Itachi's. Kisame managed to break free and the masks retreated.

"Seems you've added a new toy since back then." Kakuzu observed, weaving a sign just as Sasori rushed forward, cable slashing at his face.

Kakuzu had hardened his skin and so the blade merely slashed at his mask, revealing his stitched jaw. Sasori's eyes widened.

"You're-"

Kakuzu left him no time, his hand shooting out to grasp his neck, the other for his heart. Kisame and Itachi kept their distance, observing. Sasori choked out as his heart box was pulled from his body.

"You fool, Sasori. I expected you to- no, I made you promise to look after Deidara and I said that, if you _ever_ hurt him, in any way, I would break you." His words were wasted, as the puppet's body slumped, lifeless, a beating heart in Kakuzu's grasp. "Your heart will replace the one Deidara destroyed."

It was at this point when Kisame decided to take action. He withdrew his blade and rushed forward. Kakuzu looked at him, using his free hand to weave a sign. Itachi recognized the fire sign. He shouted a warning to his partner who jumped, weaving his own signs and blasting a torrent of water just as a wave of fire shot from a nearby mask.

"THAT'S ENOUGH, UN!" Everything froze, they all turned to face the blonde whom appeared from the trees behind Kakuzu.

"Deidara?" Three voices blended to one.

"Kakuzu. Put. Sasori's. Heart. Back. NOW."

"And miss out on such a bounty? I don't think so." Kakuzu drawled.

"Look, put it back and I'll help you replace the bounties of my friends by offering you a job. The Akatsuki needs a banker, hmm?" Deidara crossed his arms, eyes narrowing dangerously.

"You are such a pest, kid." Kakuzu returned the glare tenfold yet brought up the puppet's body.

Kakuzu replaced the heart and released Sasori just as he awoke. He gasped and jumped to his feet, tensed in defense position. Kakuzu's masks returned to his back once more and he picked up his ruined mask. He shot Sasori a glare before backing away towards Deidara.

"You're alive after all, huh, brat?" Sasori smirked then headed for Hiruko.

"So, does this mean he'll join us, Deidara?" Kisame asked while Itachi reactivated his Sharingan.

"Depends..." Kakuzu seemed wary of the Uchiha, "Been ages since I've seen an Uchiha... first one I've encountered was Madara. Rumors say he's alive. You are Itachi- the bounty on any Uchiha is high enough but yours tops all of the currently known living. Slaughtered your entire clan, save your brother, at such a young age." He trailed, deep in thought.

He stayed like this long enough for Sasori to return to Hiruko and for Hiruko to shuffle over to the other two. Deidara stayed near Kakuzu, waiting patiently. Kisame stood straight suddenly, Itachi soon after. They exchanged a quick glance with Sasori before vanishing in a puff of smoke. Kakuzu watched where they had disappeared.

"Deidara, I don't like to keep others waiting- especially not Pain." Sasori had Hiruko's gruff voice once more.

"Ugh, he's calling another meeting so soon, hmm?" Deidara scoffed, making his way over to his partner.

"Kakuzu, are you interested in joining the Akatsuki or not? You'll get payment almost as good as at the whorehouse." Sasori added the last bit with a smirk.

"Hm, very well. Best to keep a close eye on Deidara so I don't lose your bounties to some amateur kid." Kakuzu pulled a new mask from his cloak pocket, fastening it to his headgear.

Sasori gave a nod and started off. Deidara waited for Kakuzu to catch up and nuzzled him briefly. Soon the three were halfway to Amegakure. They stopped when the sun fell completely and any moonlight was veiled by storm clouds.

"Oh yeah, Kakuzu, I forgot to ask if you needed to get anything from your residence."

"Kakuzu doesn't have a residence and only trust a very small group of individuals with his precious money, yeah. Other than that, he keeps a nice sum on his person at all times just for the use of counting in his free-time. I told you he's a miser, hmm?" Deidara answered for Kakuzu.

"Remind me to give you a concussion next time I get the chance. You've remembered far too much." Kakuzu drawled, heading for a cave not too far from the path.

"Oh haha, Sasori-danna's pissed off at me enough for attempting suicide as it is."

"You did tell him it's his fault, didn't you?"

"How the hell's it _my _fault?" Sasori sniffed.

"After you left, Deidara went looking for you. I accompanied him every once and awhile. One day I guess it just got too much so, while he was helping me with a bounty, he blew the bomb too close. He would'ah been done in if I hadn't hardened my skin and blocked a majority of the blast."

"I hadn't realized you cared for me that much..." Sasori trailed guiltily.

"Of course, Sasori-no-Danna! I love you!" proclaimed Deidara, "Without you, I am dead."

Deidara sat down next to Hiruko once they were in the cave. Kakuzu left them shortly after to fetch firewood before the storm broke. Sasori crawled out of Hiruko to sit down by the blonde. Deidara was staring down at his hands, watching the tongues loll out. The redhead placed his hand in his, intertwining their fingers. He didn't mind the saliva now coating his palm.

"You know... when you die, I wouldn't mind making you a puppet, brat."

"Eh! No way! When I die, I plan to go out with a blast- just like my own art, hmm!"

The two artists broke apart to scowl at one another. Kakuzu came in and rose a brow yet kept silent, setting up the firewood.

"Real art is eternal, brat!"

"Fleeting, puppet!"

"Eternal!"

"Fleeting, un!"

"Eternal!"

"Fleeting, yeah!"

"Etern-"

"Quiet."

Kakuzu's agitated voice interrupted the debate between artists. Said artists snapped their heads to glare at the miser. However he was busily tending the lit fire, his fire mask off to the side. Silence stretched.

"Fleeting, hm." Deidara whispered seductively.

Sasori was about to retort. The bomber's lips stopped this, however, crashing on his own. Sasori had been delayed by the coming hard-on. Kakuzu looked up to see why they were quiet before hastily returning it to the fire. He hid a grin before slouching against the wall, falling asleep to sounds of sweet love. '_How I missed them_.'

–

Kakuzu was the first to wake early in the morning. He was unsurprised to find Deidara and Sasori tangled together, fully clothed. It had been painfully obvious that Sasori was a virgin from the beginning. It was the main reason he let Deidara stay with the virgin for little to no cost. All they did was talk and keep the blonde prostitute from committing suicide. Always so eager to become a work of art. He stood, pulling his hood over his face again.

"Where to?" He asked, kicking the puppet to rouse him.

"Ugh... huh?" He sat up, rubbing his brown eyes and then slipping into Hiruko.

"Where to?" Kakuzu repeated; he was easily annoyed.

"Oh... Amegakure..." He yawned but stopped short.

"Sasori, **I thought you didn't like to keep others waiting? **Pain-sama requests you hurry to the meeting pla- who's that?" Zetsu appeared from the ground, eying Kakuzu curiously, "**A snack for me?**"

"No, our new banker," Sasori explained, "Kakuzu."  
"**Damn... oh well, didn't look all that tasty anyways. **Deidara-chan's tastier looking."

"Deidara's mine, cannibal." Sasori glowered.

"Hm. No matter, wake him and follow us."

They started out the cave, Kakuzu helped Deidara up and trailed behind Hiruko. Zetsu led them through the treetops for a semi-vast distance, occasionally pausing to let Sasori catch up. He never trailed too far behind, but they waited all the same. By the afternoon they had reached the usually rainy settlement, Amegakure. Kakuzu was confused upon noticing there was no rainfall at the moment. Deidara shared his confusion in awe. They continued through the settlement of rogue ninja from Amegakure til they reached a tower. They slipped through the fence and proceeded to sneak to the door.

"What's with the sneaking?" Kakuzu grumbled once they were inside.

"This is an evil organization plotting to rebuild the way the ninja world works." Sasori answered.

"AKA, World domination, baby." Kisame appeared in front of them, replacing Zetsu.

"Ah-huh..." Kakuzu didn't look impressed.

"I just joined for kicks- I get all the bodies I need for my puppets while enjoying the occasional company. That and I want to see Sunagakure destroyed along with my damnable Grandma Chiyo."

"Wow, Sasori, never have I heard you speak for so long." Itachi drawled, entering the main room from where Kisame had come. "Greetings, Kakuzu, your new partner will take you to leader. Deidara should accompany you." he added upon spotting the stitched ninja.

"Eh, that dude's my new partner? What's with that mask?"

A boy with short, scruffy, chestnut hair entered from a second hallway straight ahead from Kakuzu. His eyes were a pale hazel color. He was looking at Kakuzu in distaste which automatically made him the victim to Deidara and Kakuzu.

"Who cares, boy, hmm? You'll find out eventually, if you live long enough." Deidara defended.

"Chill, dudette, just curious." The teen laughed.

Yep, definitely not gonna last.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been weeks since Kakuzu joined the Akatsuki. He was living up to the position given to him quite nicely. The Akatsuki had grown wealthy indeed, enough to actually go through with more missions. Of course, more missions meant more personnel required. The fact Kakuzu couldn't keep a partner wasn't helping. Said miser was sitting alone at a rest stop, having just killed off his-hell, he couldn't keep track of them all- (which is something) partner. He needed to save that brain power to keep track of bounties and funding.

"Hey, did you hear?"

"Hear what?"

"Yugakure is offering one hell of a bounty to collect this one kid. Rumor is he became one of them Jashinists."

Kakuzu's ears perked at the mention of a bounty. He was about to ask them more when a all-too-familiar voice rang through his head.

"**Kakuzu, where is number twenty-eight?**"

Ah, right... he was Kakuzu's twenty-eighth partner in the past three weeks. There was no point in naming them any more. Kakuzu only shrugged, mask hiding his grin.

"**My office, now.**"

Kakuzu groaned but stood. He made the proper hand sign and POOF—gone. He reappeared right between Sasori and Deidara. He tensed at the sudden enclosing contact.

"I'd appreciate if you two would stop grinding me." he startled the artists.

"S-sorry, Kakuzu, hm." Deidara was redder than the other male's hair.

Said red head wasn't blushing as much, but that was due to his body being mostly false. He gave Kakuzu a look saying, 'You're the one that intruded, now leave us be.' Kakuzu scoffed, squeezing out from between the two overly-lovey-dovey artists. He had appeared at the main quarters where the Akatsuki would usually stay until assigned a new mission. Soon as they had the money, each pair of members would have their own—cheap–hideouts. Neither artist questioned where his partner had went, they knew full-well where.

"Yes, Leader?" Kakuzu sighed, entering the seemingly empty office. Pein still refused to show his face.

"**Kakuzu, that was your twenty-eighth partner. Your TWENTY-EIGHTH!" **He roared.

"Glad to know you can count." Kakuzu mumbled ever so quietly.

"**Silence. Now I'll be assigning you a temporary partner until we are able to find one you are able to cooperate with.**" Leader's voice was venomous so Kakuzu merely nodded.

"Who am I assigned?"

"**Zetsu.**" was his only response.

–

So, that is how the two of them ended up out in the woods, looking for a bandit leader with a hefty sum above his head. Zetsu easily tracked their target down and Kakuzu took hims down easily enough. The problem, however, was that Zetsu tried to eat the man on the way to the exchange point. By some miracle Kakuzu managed to get the money despite the fact the bandit's arm was digesting in Zetsu's stomach.

"Where to know, **miser?**"

"Yugakure is nearby, right?"

Zetsu gave a nod and took the lead. Kakuzu had to admit that this partner had a few benefits. He did not need a map and he could find any man Kakuzu was looking for. The split personalities were a nuisance at first but he learned to deal with it. They were almost at the village when the sun went down. Zetsu stopped and started to lead the banker into the forest to rest. They sat in a somewhat sheltered clearing, munching on whatever food they had brought.

"What does it taste like?" Kakuzu asked on a whim, motioning to the human flesh his partner was feasting on.

"... Meat... I guess." Zetsu shrugged.

"Hm... I considered eating my last partner out of curiosity but decided against it. Instead I left him with the cannibals we encountered."

"Hm. You found a bunch of cannibals?" Zetsu smiled.

"Yeah." Kakuzu shrugged then returned to eating his simple lunch.

They slept close to each other but not close enough to touch. One of Kakuzu's female partners made the mistake of touching him and her death was one all the Akatsuki preferred to forget. Her body parts had been scattered all around the base until Zetsu cleaned it up. The plant-like man was beginning to worship Kakuzu for providing so many easy meals. The sun started to rise and Kakuzu woke Zetsu.

"We'll be looking for something on 'Jashinists', whatever the hell that is."

Zetsu nodded and led the way back to the village. They were surprised to find the village somewhat abandoned. Zetsu remained hidden outside in the woods. The banker headed for the nearest pub in order to listen to gossip. Kakuzu immediately noticed a bounty hunting group and sat nearby, out of their sight.

"Hey there, ma'am. You care to tell us more about this 'Hidan' your village is so frightened of?"

"Hidan, ey? Sorry, but your asking the wrong lady. I'm not interested in handing my idol over to a bunch of you thugs." The server huffed, leaving them with their food and drinks to take Kakuzu's order. "You ready to order?"

"Water." Kakuzu said quickly.

"Okay then, hun." She walked off after giving him an odd look.

"Miss, may I ask you about these Jashinists that I've been hearing about? They seem interesting." He asked innocently when she returned.

"Are you willing to convert?" The woman's eyes went wide and she sat at his table.

"Perhaps. I wouldn't mind checking it out." He lied smoothly.

"Well, if you wait a bit I'd be happy to take ya to the temple when I get off. One of the priests can tell you more."

He gave a nod but groaned in the inside. He was going to a temple; he hated religious nuts. One the woman left for the back he slipped outside and went to look for Zetsu. He informed the man of his plan then went back in to wait for the woman. The woman returned after a few minutes and led him outside. He motioned for Zetsu to keep an eye on the bounty hunters that left the pub after him. He saw him lick his lips and glared; they had bounties on their heads too and he was not about to let Zetsu ruin it all for him.

They were led to some ruins surrounded by hot springs laying just outside the village perimeter. Outside there were two small boys standing over the corpse of a man, playing with the blood. The woman frowned when she saw this and hurried over.

"No playing with the sacrifices!" She scolded, grabbing their hands in order to pull them away.

"Who the hell is that?" One of the boys noticed Kakuzu.

"Someone interested in converting. Where's Hidan-sama?" She looked around the clearing.

"Some guys dressed like him came by and he went with them." They answered.

Kakuzu quirked a brow but before he could move, Leader summoned him.

"**We found you a partner, Kakuzu. Return to base. IMMEDIATELY.**"

He cursed under his breath but weaved the signs. POOF...?

"GAH? Do you _have _to always come between us, hmm?"

"Seriously, Kakuzu. I'm beginning to think you're doing this on purpose."

"Just checking up on my whore."

Again, Kakuzu had arrived right between his old acquaintances in a most intimate moment. This one happened to be heading farther than usual so Kakuzu crawled out of their bed, pulling Deidara's pants off his head as he did so. He smirked at the two tangled in each others' arms and left their room, turning the light off on the way. He met Zetsu in the hall and followed him to leader's office. Inside were three people. Kisame, Itachi, and a pale man with gray hair and magenta eyes.

"Who's the shrimp?" Kakuzu sneered.

"Your new partner, Kakuzu." Itachi answered bluntly.

"How about we make a bet, Kisame?"

"Sure, Kakuzu. I bet my next few paychecks for two of your briefcases filled with money if this kid lives."

"Kid? He's got gray hair." Kakuzu frowned then added, "And I accept that deal."

"What the fuck man? Don't you know money is shit? You should really consider converting, heathens." The stranger ranted.

"Money makes the world go round and religion is just a waste of that money." Kakuzu glared.

"Jashin is not a waste of money!" He exclaimed haughtily.

"Jashin... You've got to be kidding me. You wouldn't happen to be Hidan, would you?"

"Fuck yeah I am!" He boasted.

"You, my little _friend, _are dead."

"Tch! Like you could pull it off, fucker!"

In a flash Hidan was pinned to the wall, Kakuzu's hands wrapped around his throat.

"I can pull it off." He tugged on Hidan's head as proof, "I won't kill you so soon though. That would be dull and boring. Let's just see how long you last."

Kakuzu turned abruptly, leaving the room. After a shove from Kisame, Hidan followed, shouting an obscenity at the blue man. They reached what passed for a living room to find Deidara sitting alone on the couch. The banker headed straight for the seat next to him, wondering where Sasori was.

"Hey Kakuzu, Hidan, hmm." Deidara greeted with a smile.

"Hey bitch. I'll be in my room if you need me." Hidan smirked, heading down the hall.

"You know him?" Kakuzu rose a brow.

"I brought him here, hmm. I met him for that period in which you left me. Y'know, the time I was raising the price over my head, hmm?" Deidara grinned when Kakuzu growled.

"I hate you."

"Eh~? Don't lie to me, Danna~ I know you don't hate me." Deidara leaned in, trying to seduce Kakuzu.

"You've lost your touch. It's a good thing you've retired and settled down with a hunk of wood."

He merely stood, easily dodging the clay Deidara threw at his head. Deidara huffed when Kakuzu vanished, heading for the room he was going to be sharing with his new partner. Said partner was already fast asleep in _his_ bed. Kakuzu growled and went to kick him off. As he approached, however, he found himself checking out the man's body. He was small, Kakuzu had to admit, perhaps around Deidara's age, maybe older. Deidara was only seventeen or so at the moment. His hair was greasy though, unlike Deidara's well-cared-for hair. His shampoo and conditioner needs always ticked Kakuzu off but it brought in business...

"What the fuck are you staring at?" Hidan grumbled, turning over to look at Kakuzu.

"You're in my bed, zealot." He heard himself growl, studying the somewhat dull eyes.

"So. Fucking. What?" The smaller scoffed, flipping back on his stomach.

"Suit yourself..." Kakuzu smirked, sitting down on the others back, hearing a snap. Was he really that heavy or was the man so frail?

"Fuck! My back! Get off you fat old bastard!" Hidan squirmed, wincing when it made his situation worse.

"My name is Kakuzu and I am not fat. Now say 'please'." He grinned sadistically.

"N-Never!" The Jashinist gasped, beginning to go still.

"Kakuzu! Stop suffocating my friend with your fat ass, hm!" Deidara barged in.

"My ass is not fat, he's just weak." Kakuzu pouted indignantly but he got off the man, instead kicking him in the ribs which sent him crashing to the floor. "My bed."

"Fucking jackass-ed heathen!" Hidan snarled, jumping to his feet in order to brush himself off.

"Want to train with me, Hidan?" Deidara asked.

"Depends on what kind of training?" Hidan smirked suggestively, casually draping an arm over his shoulders.

"The kind that involves blowing up, hm." Deidara smirked back, heading for the door.

"'Cause you're just soo good at that." Kakuzu laughed to himself.

"You know it, hm." Deidara laughed, closing the door behind himself and his new friend.

"**Can I eat your new partner yet?**" Zetsu appeared in the room after a few minutes, making Kakuzu sit up on his bed.

"Wait for it..." He paused and then heard an explosion echo through the base, "Now you should be able to."

"Thanks. **Yes!**" Zetsu sunk back into the floor, reappearing in the training room.

Deidara stood over Hidan's limp form, laughing about something. As Zetsu drew closer he gave a pout. Their meal was getting up, ready to walk away. Deidara noticed the cannibal's approach and huffed angrily.

"Go away, Zetsu. If Danna finds out you tried to eat me again, he'll carry through with his threat, hm." He crossed his arms, glaring at him.

"This freak tried to eat ya? Is he some kind of fucking cannibal?" Hidan scoffed, stretching when he stood up.

"Look, we're not going to eat you. **Kakuzu said we could have him though.**" Zetsu's mouth watered when he looked at the newest member.

"Oh hell no!" Hidan and Deidara exclaimed together.

"I think it's time Kakuzu-danna and I go on a little mission, hm." Deidara muttered, dragging Hidan back up to his room. "Sasori-no-Danna! Can we take a vacation, hm?" He shouted, barging into the room where Sasori had been trying to repair his body.

"Huh... so you're not entirely made of wood..." Hidan smirked as Sasori flushed, covering his lower area that had been exposed as he repaired his thigh.

"Fuck you!" He snapped.

"Maybe later, hm." Deidara snickered, "But Kakuzu needs to seriously needs a break, hm. Y'know, bond with his partner."

"Tch! As if I could get along with that shitty miser." Hidan puffed.

"Miser? Kakuzu doesn't look old..." Sasori frowned, discreetly pulling up his pants.

"Don't see how I can tell the difference since he's dressed the way he is. 'Sides, this bitch always calls him a miser." He shrugged.

"Well, go get him, Hidan and tell him only to meet me outside, hm. Tell him Sasori-danna upset me and I'm reconsidering suicide." Deidara walked over to his closet to prepare.

"What's to reconsider? Just do it you fucking pussy." Hidan drawled.

"Out." Sasori growled, pointing to the door.

"Fine, see you later, fuckers."

Hidan strode out of the room and headed down the hall for his new room. Briefly he wondered how his students felt about his leaving... The twins were too young to understand and their sister probably assumed he would return for them later. However Hidan had no intention of returning. Deidara had stopped at his ruins with Sasori and informed him about the Akatsuki. Hidan found it would be interesting to meet so many men that killed and agreed to come with for religious purposes. When he first met Deidara, he had still been a ninja of his village. Deidara was the one that told him he should revolt about the village becoming a tourist trap.

He opened the door to find Kakuzu hunched over a desk, flipping through stacks of money. Zetsu stood behind him and noticed Hidan first. He gave a smirk then headed over, licking his lips. Hidan rolled his eyes and ducked past, tapping Kakuzu on the shoulder.

"Oi, Deidara says he's going to kill himself." He lied before Kakuzu could do harm for the interruption.

"So? Can't you see I'm counting? Go tell Sasori." Kakuzu growled acidly.

"But Sasori said he wants nothing to do with another man. Apparently Deidara wasn't a good lay." Hidan shrugged.

"That's bullshit." Kakuzu set down his money to glare at him. Wow, what interesting eyes... "Deidara was the best lay I've ever had."

"Wait, what?" Hidan choked in shock; someone like Deidara actually slept with something like Kakuzu? "You fucked him?"

"I didn't fuck him personally but he brought in plenty of eager customers." Kakuzu shrugged, putting his money away.

"Are you telling me you were Deidara's 'Danna'?" Hidan gaped.

"Yes. Now, where is Deidara or better yet, Sasori. Sasori's bounty is quite large after all and I've given him plenty of warnings." Kakuzu stood up, towering over Hidan.

"Sasori's gone but Deidara's just outside." Hidan was... amazed... at the man's height.

"Hm... Fine."


End file.
